Shenanigoats
by Andie17
Summary: Nine worlds combine by mistake and will cause the end of the world if not corrected. This responsibility is left up to three teenage girls. Can they save the world? Buffy/HP/LOTR/Mercedes Lackey/Pokemon/Danny de Santo/Resident Evil/Grand Theft Auto/Cli
1. The Beginning

Worlds Used: Buffy world Mercedes Lackey world Resident Evil Lord of the Rings Harry Potter Clive Cussler Pokemon Danny de Santo Grand Theft Auto  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of these worlds. This is purely fiction. Yaddah yaddah yaddah.  
  
A/N: This is straight from the deranged mind of me. I completely understand if you get terribly confused and hate my story. But if you flame me, I will kill you. Have no doubt. Moo hoo Hahaha!!!!  
  
Shenanigoats  
  
Chapter One: The Beginning  
  
Nine worlds. Different dimensions. Completely separate from each other. Each unique and respectively popular in our dimension. Each totally genuine, yet fictional in another.  
  
When dimensional walls separating these worlds are ripped away, each dimension will spill into the others, combining worlds meant to be divided for a reason. When combined, the atomic make up of these worlds will begin to collapse, causing the world to end. Armageddon. The Apocalypse. The end of mankind. Whatever you want to call it, it's bad.  
  
The only thing needed to trigger this event is the correct sequence of characters punched into a machine with access to each of these dimensions. The identity of this machine? A computer.  
  
* * *  
  
The last level of play began on the IBM Pentium III computer stationed in the home of Ben and Andrea Smith.  
  
Ben frantically smashed the directional arrow on the keyboard in order to make Kyle move through the virtual castle on his screen. He was in the fifth world, last level of South Park Super Mario Bros. 2. The best game he could download.  
  
He kept his hand on the right arrow, then added the shift button to the mix. But the damn keyboard failed him, not succeeding in making the jump and poor Kyle tumbled helplessly into the unrealistic molten lava on the screen. That had been his last life, and with a score of 365 782, his game was lost. Ben lost it, too.  
  
"Mother fucker!" he screamed, angrily smashing his fists into the mistreated keys over and over again.  
  
"Jeez, Ben, calm down. You're getting obsessive," Andrea noted calmly over the top of her current novel.  
  
"You calm down, you fucking Chink!" (A/N: Sorry, plz don't be offended, but Ben actually talks like this and I want to be as realistic as possible. Please forgive me) Ben yelled, his face beginning to turn purple.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you not to call people that? It's rude and politically incorrect. Many people would be offended by your choice of insult. . .Faggot," she mumbled under her breath.  
  
This level of name calling was not uncommon to the two teenagers. In fact, rarely did a sentence slip out of their mouths without being followed by one slur or another.  
  
Ben's chair toppled over backwards as he furiously stood, his breathing ragged.  
  
"No, they wouldn't, you fucking Nigger Chink Nazi!"  
  
"Gook!"  
  
"Mennonite!"  
  
"Jew!"  
  
"Jewish Nazi!"  
  
"Jap!" (A/N: I am soooooo sorry. Anybody of these races/religion please don't be offended. Just take it as a complement that I managed to remember the slurs for them, k?)  
  
"Would you guys shut up?" Lauren said, appearing in the rec room with Brittany at her side.  
  
"Oh, hey," Andrea greeted, finally looking up from the latest Sandra Brown novel. "About time you guys got here. I was about to call out the cavalry."  
  
"Hey, Andie?" Brittany prompted softly. "What's wrong with your computer?"  
  
The screen had, indeed, turned an electric green colour and begun to expand. It looked almost like a black hole, only bright green. Ben jumped back, falling over from surprise. He hadn't noticed in his unnecessary anger.  
  
"What the fuck?"  
  
"Get away from that, Ben," Andrea said, her eyes widening as she hopped from her chair, letting the book fall forgotten to the carpet. Ben quickly crab crawled away from the opening, fear overtaking him.  
  
"I didn't do it," he denied quickly.  
  
"Yes, you did, maggot. You must have triggered something when you freaked on the computer. Way to go."  
  
"Make it go away." Andrea promptly looked around the room for something to grab. Settling for an old, worn copy of A Tale of Two Cities, she inched as close to her computer as she dared, then tossed the paperback toward the portal. It disappeared.  
  
"Oh, shit. Man, we should go." No sooner had she uttered the warning then Ben had torn frantically up the stairs. Andrea rolled her eyes as she registered the sound of the door slamming behind him. "What an asshole. . .," she mumbled. Leaving her to clean up his problem. She'd teach him.  
  
Suddenly, a bolt of lightning shot out of the whirling green thing. Then it stopped twirling and opened wider, now covering the entire space of the wall. The shocking green colour slowly faded to depict what looked like a graveyard.  
  
Andrea, Brittany and Lauren didn't stick around to see what would happen. Andie quickly yanked open the door on an old wardrobe that stood in the room. Then she yanked her friends into it.  
  
It looked almost like a painting now. Something pushed against the other side, and the shape of a human took form against the landscape. It stretched the picture until it stood in the middle of the rec room, the painting slowly melting away from it so that it stood alone. Gradually, more and more people, objects, etc began to come out of the portal. Every once and a while, the landscape would change, alternately depicting a boat, a cartoon world, a forest, a laboratory, and other things.  
  
Various huge bangs sounded. Inside the wardrobe, Lauren jumped.  
  
"Shh," Andrea warned. "We don't know what's out there."  
  
"This can't be happening," Brittany mumbled.  
  
" 'Fraid it is, Brit."  
  
They heard some grunting, gunshots, moaning and some yelps, followed by vicious cursing. Andrea creaked open the door of the wardrobe, ignoring the teenage girls hanging off her arms.  
  
What she saw was unbelievable. 


	2. Chaos

Chapter Two: Chaos  
  
Andrea whimpered as she climbed out of the wardrobe, followed by Brittany and Lauren. This was unbelievable.  
  
Complete and utter chaos had ensued around them. To her left, a zombie was being electrocuted by a small, yellow creature. . .was it a Pokémon? Next to that, a good-looking dark haired man had a Colt .46 drawn and was shooting a vampire. He seemed confused as to why it wasn't dieing. A small blonde woman was battling an orc. Another woman in a beret was going hand-to-hand with a gorgeous man with bleached hair. A heard of horses sat off to the side for a few moments before turning and striding away. To the right, a boy about Andrea's age with a scar on his forehead was backing away from a mobster-looking guy with a pistol.  
  
"Oh, my God."  
  
Her living room was overrun with fictional characters. She must have been dreaming.  
  
"Lauren, pinch me." Her stunned friend gladly obliged. "Ow. Okay, that hurt. Not good."  
  
She climbed onto the staircase leading to the rec room and let loose an insanely loud whistle. Everyone turned and looked at her, save a few of the walking undead.  
  
"Okay," she said loudly, so everyone could hear her. "Listen to me. All vampires must leave now except for Spike." The blond guy with the bleach job stopped moving toward the door. "If I mention you, come stand on the other side of the staircase. Understand?" People nodded. Andrea really didn't have a clue why they were listening to her. She was just a kid. "Uh. . .If you're in the Scooby Gang, over here please. If you know what I'm talking about when I mention the Order of the Phoenix and the Fellowship of the Ring. If you were ever part of any STARS team. If you have any connection, whatsoever, to the company NUMA."  
  
"What about us?" called a kid who looked like he'd stepped out of the cartoon. Fortunately, Andrea recognized nearly all of these people.  
  
"If you have anything to do with Pokémon, please leave now. You're dumb." Ash Ketchum and his group of Pokémon people filed out of the room. "Uh. . .I think I have all the important people."  
  
Everyone began to, surprisingly, leave. The only reason they were even listening to the fifteen year old was because they had no clue what was going on.  
  
Suddenly, Lauren pointed to a man at the back of the group and yelled, "Danny! Don't leave!"  
  
The man stopped and, looking confused, came over to join the group permitted to stay.  
  
"Hey, I remember you. You were at that convention a while ago." Lauren nodded excitedly.  
  
Finally, all of the unimportant people/things had left the house and Andrea, Brittany and Lauren were left with exactly fifty fictional characters looking expectantly at them. A beautiful woman with cinnamon coloured hair raised her hand professionally. Andrea blinked momentarily at the gesture of respect.  
  
"Yes, Loren?" she said. The woman started to say something, but then changed direction.  
  
"Who - wait. How do you know my name?" Murmurs broke out promptly.  
  
"Please. . .settle down. . ." Andrea said, but no one seemed to hear her.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen," said an older man, who Andrea assumed was Professor Albus Dumbledore. "I believe we should give this young lady a chance to speak."  
  
"As do I," agreed Rupert Giles. "None of us seem to know what is going on."  
  
"Yeah, let her talk," commanded Barry Burton of STARS Alpha team. The crowd seemed to take the hint and shut up.  
  
"Thank you. My name is Andrea Smith. This is my house. These are my friends Brittany and Lauren. I know you names because, where I live, you are all fictional characters. Except for you." She pointed at Danny and the murmurs almost broke out again. "I know all your secrets," she admitted with a grin. "I have seen each one of you either in books, movies, TV shows or video games. And I'd be more than happy to tell you about it after we figure out what the hell is going on."  
  
"Why should we believe you?" asked a greasy voice. Andrea didn't have to look to know who was speaking. She grinned wider.  
  
"Ah, Snapey. I was wondering when you'd pipe up." Everyone who seemed to know him burst out laughing. "Hang on a sec, I'll prove it."  
  
She disappeared into her bedroom and returned with her arms overflowing with 'proof'. Brittany and Lauren helped her unload a bit. She began by tossing four books into the crowd.  
  
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone went to Snape, Chamber of Secrets to Dumbledore, Prisoner of Azkaban to Sirius Black and Goblet of Fire to Harry himself.  
  
Next, Andrea threw a complete boxed set of the Resident Evil video games to Jill Valentine and the Lord of the Rings trilogy to Gandalf, Frodo and Aragorn (A/N: * drool*).  
  
Then, five seasons of DVDs went to Buffy, Xander, Giles, Willow, and Spike (A/N: *drool again *).  
  
The book Sahara was lobbed to Dirk Pitt, Atlantis Found to Loren Smith, and Raise the Titanic to Rudi Gunn.  
  
"That takes care of everybody, right?" People nodded. "Proof enough for you, Snapey?" Professor Snape flushed both at being called Snapey and at being proved wrong.  
  
"Please refrain from calling me that, Miss Smith." Harry snickered and Snape shot him a glare.  
  
"What does all this mean?" Dawn Summers questioned, holding up a box of fourth season Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs.  
  
"It means your fictional," said a short, gruff-looking man with red hair. Admiral James Sandecker. Dawn looked offended.  
  
"Now, now. We're all fictional," Molly Weasley said comfortingly.  
  
"Look, I'm not sure how or why you guys got here," started Andrea, "but I do know that just before you guys showed up, my computer went all wonky and pulled a reverse Poltergeist." Several people looked very confused by this statement.  
  
"Please elaborate," suggested Gandalf the Grey-or-White-depending-on-what- book-you're-on.  
  
"It turned into a portal," said Brittany.  
  
"And spat all you guys and your zombies and vampires and demons and evil rings and Lord Voldemorts all over my living room," finished Andrea.  
  
"And don't forget Team Rocket," said Lauren, pointing at a trio of animé people/Pokémon hiding in the corner.  
  
"Leave!" Andrea commanded sternly, frowning at them.  
  
"Look's like Team Rocket is blasting off again!" chorused a red haired girl, a blue haired guy and a weird cat thing. They slowly trudged out of the house, looking very deflated. Andrea slowly shook her head at the retreating forms.  
  
"Right then. We should probably figure out what the hell happened," suggested Andrea. "That would be more easily accomplished if we each got what we thought would help the most and brought it to a place large enough to hold us all. But where would that be?"  
  
"We could use the Raccoon Police Station," offered Claire Redfield.  
  
"Helm's Deep is probably not the best idea, huh?" said Frodo.  
  
"How about NUMA HQ?" said Hiram Yeager. "That way I could use Max and you guys could all be there on hand." Andrea nodded.  
  
"Good idea. NUMA building is now command central."  
  
"How do we know that our resources made it over?" Xander asked.  
  
"If I'm right. . ." Andrea began, moving to the door. Tossing it open, she looked around. "Your resources made it, Xand. Trust me."  
  
The house next door was now a dark and gloomy graveyard. Next to that was an extremely tall glass building with the letters 'NUMA' on a sign in front of it. Down the hill from Andrea's house, Hogwarts stood where Erie Septic Service had been only an hour previous. The Magic Box was where Hagrid's hut had been. The Raccoon PD sat in a clearing in some trees across the road.  
  
But the paths to these places were by no means clear. A man seemed to be stealing a car. And zombies were chewing on Pokémon.  
  
It wasn't a pretty picture. 


End file.
